Many of you are very familiar with the terms runner and chaser twins. There's a lot of stigma these days attached to using these terms to refer to twin flames, but it makes explanations so much easier! So I am going to stick with these terms again for this post just for the sake of ease of understanding.
So the chaser is often the twin who tries to get closer to the runner, the one who tries to create a deeper commitment in the physical, the one who often overcompensates in the connection to try and make things work or hold things together. There's a fear within the chaser that if they stop chasing then the whole connection will fall apart.
Then there's the runner, the one who is afraid of getting close, the one who tries to create a bigger distance if the chaser steps too much into their personal space. The runner is typically the one who gives less in the connection and appears to want to get away from it. There's a fear that if the chaser gets too close then somehow they will be suffocated by the increased intimacy, so they block it.
But what if I told you that the runner is not intentionally blocking the connection just because they are afraid, or because they don't care? What if there was something much deeper going on? Something that makes so much sense you may wonder why you never thought of it before...?
Well it turns out there is a simple explanation and it's to do with twin flames needing to reach balance in order to have a healthy relationship. This seems obvious enough yes and I am sure many of you know the frustration only to well that comes from waiting for the runner to heal so they can participate equally in the connection.
But this is where the misunderstanding resides - in the act of waiting for the twin flame to come into balance with you whilst you continue to be equally imbalanced through chasing. A healthy and balanced twin flame connection is where neither run nor chase. And yes, again that is an obvious statement, but it appears the not-so-obvious truth that many twins miss is that a chaser is as equally imbalanced as the runner, equally needs healing like the runner does, but in the opposite direction.
You see twin flames are two sides of the same coin. They are one, but are opposite. So if one is heavily chasing, it forces the other to heavily run.
Lets think of it in terms of a set of old-fashioned weighing scales. The balanced scale would be when both twin flames are giving and receiving love equally. But if the chaser twin gives and gives and gives some more, and puts so much weight into their side of the scale, then they get weighed down and it FORCES the masculine to give less and less and less and their side of the scale goes up as their contribution is smaller. If you're holding on incredibly tightly, they appear to not be holding on much at all.
Why is this?
Well, both of the twins together make 100%. If one is giving 70% it forces the other to give 30% - it cannot be any other way. You are One, and so the actions of one affect the other as you are always 100%. It cannot be that one gives 70% and the other gives 70% when twins together are 100%.
If we give 70% love then we are only allowing ourselves to be able to receive 30% love, which means we will burn out. We can feel frustrated if the runner is not reciprocating equally and so (through social conditioning) we believe that if we just keep giving more and more then eventually they will heal and know our love for them is real and they don't have to be afraid etc etc in order to try and get them to come closer.
Humans have a need to give and receive love equally in order to feel fulfilled. So if we are contributing 70% towards the connection we force our twin to be only able to give 30%, which is not satisfying for them either. We all naturally want to give and receive love equally. If you are giving too much, you are stepping on your twin flames toes and they may begin to feel you are overcompensating because you don't trust they have enough to offer you, thus you are believing them to be incompetent. This does not make them feel good about themselves - it has the opposite effect of making them feel they aren't good enough and thus want to withdraw further, or be afraid to step forward in case they aren't good enough.
But also, many of the chaser twins are those whom are more connected to their intuition, heart, higher self and soul truth. They are more aligned with their true nature as a soul. Soul truth is infinitely stronger and more powerful than illusions. Illusions are simply earthly conditioning that is false and out of alignment with the soul. The runner twin is typically the one who is less in touch with their intuition and out of alignment with their soul truth as a result. So they are more aligned with the illusions which are a weaker force.
My point is, if you are the one whom is more aligned with your soul truth, you are the stronger force in your connection. So if you are also the chaser and are giving 70% in your connection, the strength of your soul truth overpowers the other twin who is aligning with the illusions that are weaker than soul truth, so they are FORCED to only be able to give 30%. Many chasers become resentful because they believe the runner is being stubborn and cold and uncaring, but in truth it's not their choice, it's what they are energetically being forced into. We attract what we are willing to receive.
The twin whom is more aligned with love and light (soul truth) is also more magnetic. So whatever action you take causes a knock on effect for your twin flame. So this knowledge should actually be a cause for celebration! It means that when you balance yourself by allowing yourself to receive more love from yourself primarily and then from your twin and giving less of the unhealthy codependency through creating healthy boundaries, it balances out the scales and magnetizes your twin to give equally (and receive equally) - 50/50.
This is not a game of manipulation. It is not about withholding love because in truth, when we are co-dependent a lot of what we are extending to our twin flame is not genuine love. Yes you are definitely giving love, but it is mixed in with a lot of unhealthy stuff too. So it's withdrawing the unhealthy actions.
Also, this is not selfish. True unconditional love can only be extended to another when we are loving ourselves unconditionally - so that means giving up the unhealthy habits and creating healthy boundaries (healthy balance) within ourselves and with our twin flame. This means that you are opening yourself up energetically to be able to receive more love. It takes trust, it takes faith, it can feel very uncomfortable at first, but this is how we break through that old paradigm of co-dependency, which is one of the major paradigms twins are here to dissolve.
If we try to force reunion, it's pushing to try and speed up reunion. But think about pushing a heavy object. If we push it, it moves away from us. If we try to then withdraw too much they are magnetized towards us, but then the lack of love from you repels the connection again. This is why this needs to be a healthy balance of 50/50. Not pushing too hard to make the connection work, but equally not pulling away too much. So this isn't about withdrawing love, it's about withdrawing trying to force things. And sometimes people can confuse being very loving with secretly trying to get something back in return which is not unconditional love.
Balancing the laws of our soul with the laws of the Earth
If we want a healthy reunion on Earth, then we must be balanced just like the natural laws of the Earth in order to manifest it on this 3D plane. Think about night/day, light/dark, male/female, concave/convex - everything on our Earth which is equal and yet opposites to make a whole. Two sides of the same coin. We need to become that balance otherwise reunion just cannot fit into this 3D reality.
But it also goes a step further. Twins are here to bring the Earth back into balance with the 5D and beyond. The merging of the 3D and the 5D into Oneness, so we break away from the illusion of separation - another paradigm we are here to dissolve. We are here to bring the Earth into the awareness that it is not separate or inferior to the higher dimensions - all is one and the same in truth.
Many runner twin's WANT to come closer but they feel unable to or stuck for reasons they cannot figure out. This is the reason! The imbalance. The twin who is aligned more with the strength of soul truth must be the one to make the changes so the other twin naturally follows suit. You must actively restore the balance by focusing more on your own life and self-love so you aren't acting through the imbalance of co-dependency. That co-dependency sends out a message to the runner that you are looking to them to fill in your voids - an impossible task which also contributes to their runner. They know they couldn't make you happy if you aren't happy in yourself.
So there needs to be a balance within ourselves - giving love to ourselves and being open to receiving love equally and then it reflects outwardly too in the connection. This is how the law of attraction works.
If you are co-dependent, your twin is acting as the teacher to help you come to this stage of realizing your own imbalance as they reflect it back to you in obvious ways, so then you can heal, and reach deeper fulfillment and overcome that old paradigm.
So love yourself enough to give yourself all the love, nurturing, compassion and time that you have been giving to your twin flame and the connection. Then you will be balanced within yourself and it will balance your twin also and your connection with each other.
If you would like to know much more about how to come into balance with your twin flame and effectively work with the law of attraction to heal yourself and manifest reunion with your twin flame then check out my eBook Twin Flame Reunion Manifestation here
I have also created an infographic to help better explain this information on restoring balance with your twin flame further :-)
Until next time, Love and Light to you!