For ease of reading I am going to be using the terms runner and chaser, even though in truth, I feel they are reflections of the same thing, but that is another topic entirely which I have written about here.
I would say that I am more of the "chaser" in our twin flame connection - I am more expressive of my feelings and more "up front" about it all so can seemingly "move quicker" through this journey, or so it seems at least on the surface. This is often due to social conditioning though - as a female in the feminine energy, I have been programmed by society to be more open about my feelings and live my life governed by them. This is what comes easier for me.
So what, as the chaser, am I confessing to?
I am confessing that I don't want a traditional fairytale ending, I don't want a "perfect" reunion in terms of everything being completed, done and dusted, we've crossed the finish line. Our souls need continual soul growth and this can only occur when we release the old ideas about what a blissful reunion is. We often have a picture of reunion in our minds which is heavily based upon the old paradigms that we are conditioned by society to believe we want. This is like many traditional marriages where as soon as they are married the partners subconsciously believe they have now automatically crossed the "finish line" and can put their feet up. The trouble is, the soul needs continual growth and so putting our feet up because we now think we "have it all" actually turns into stagnation and suffocation of the soul.
Deep fulfillment comes from continual soul growth, challenges, ups and down (for if we were always happy and in bliss then it would become exhausting and unfulfilling), new triumphs, the contrast of light and dark. We've been conditioned to think we only want perfection, we only want the good bits but if we had that "perfection" we'd soon get tired of it. Fulfillment comes through growth, the liberation of the soul to keep moving into deeper revelations.
Have you ever noticed a pattern in your life where you seem to be attracted to people who are more of a "challenge" and you're turned off by those who are "easy" and offer you everything on a plate right up front? Some people, highly educated and globally respected for their work, would say you have a fear of commitment, or a fear of intimacy. I say that is bs. Chasers ARE committed to trying to make it work with a runner (but again, often in the old paradigm kind of way at first). Deep down this is the soul committing to trying to excavate all the illusions and wounds by being magnetically attracted to the reflection of their soul, someone who won't and can't unite with us in any traditional old paradigm kind of way. It helps us eventually see through those limiting old paradigms. Committing to a twin flame connection is committing to soul growth (often subconsciously in the beginning) by bringing into consciousness all the soul love and all the wounds caused by illusion.
Of course someone is going to have a fear of committing to someone who doesn't challenge their soul, challenge them to become the best version of themselves. And for the fear of intimacy, I say these connections are all about getting intimate with our own soul. To me, a true fear of commitment and intimacy is when people jump into a relationship to try and have their wounds fixed externally by someone else. They are running away from themselves by continually looking outward.
So why does a runner run? Aren't they looking for this deep soul growth? Well, in fact they are, but if a chaser is offering everything to the runner on a plate then they have no room for a "stretch challenge" of soul growth either. But mostly, if twin flame chasers (and runners) are trying to squeeze this connection into the old paradigms, then reunion cannot occur that way, so it's more of an energetic repulsion until you both align with the soul truth. If you would like to know how your energies truly affect your reunion, how they can either repel or attract reunion and how you can consciously take charge of what energies you are sending out in order to manifest reunion then look here to my eBook Twin Flame Reunion Manifestation.
I will use the metaphor of buying a house to help better explain this. We are conditioned by society to believe we want a house that is already perfect - decorated to a high-spec, fantastic wooden floors, kitchen, bathrooms, i.e. nothing needs doing to it, no renovating, we can move in immediately and just place all our stuff inside then it's all done! Nice and easy! This is like the kind of relationship we are conditioned to believe we want - everything is blissful, easy, runs smoothly, no effort is needed, it's all just rosy and perfect!
But what our SOUL wants is a challenge - an opportunity to become creative, committed to working hard, to achieving goals, to feel deep fulfillment for what we have created and achieved, placing our own individuality into it. Our soul wants the house that is dilapidated, needs renovating, a new bathroom suite, kitchen suite and flooring. The soul enjoys this process, it creates movement and lots of room for growth. It creates freedom for our individuality to be expressed. This is the twin flame connection or any deep soul connection that challenges us to grow and express our truth.
This same soul would get bored sitting in that ready-to-move-in home and would be twiddling it's thumbs thinking "what now?" This is why twin flame challenges are a good thing. This is why we are attracted so strongly to our twin flame - they challenge us like nobody else and our soul wants and needs this for fulfillment.
"Runner" twin flames are usually the ones who feel inadequate for such love. Their soul is attracted to the "chaser" because they are wanting to create monumental shifts within themselves so they can love themselves enough in order to receive this love and feel good enough. This is their soul challenge, this is where their fulfillment lies.
A twin flame chaser in truth is afraid of coming together if there is still this idea that it's going to be the "finish line". We may *think* we want that but our soul is afraid of the deeper commitment of reunion IF it means there will be no more soul growth involved. The runner is afraid of committing to reunion because their soul is still wanting and needing this journey of growth also. To commit too soon would mean they had not healed but just accepted the "done and dusted" option where they would stagnate in their same level of growth with no option of growing further.
Reunion can only truly occur when both twins realise that reunion does not mean "the finish line" or "when they have reached a state of perfection". Reunion occurs when both twins realise there will always be areas to grow, that neither will be perfect, that challenges are desirable and this is not about trying to "overcome everything" to reach the finish line. There is no finish line! There is no perfection! There will always be more growing to do! This is what we want! The old paradigms are holding twin flames back because they are trying to fit this soul connection into the earthly illusions when our soul doesn't want that. Illusions cannot manifest truth.
We need to realise that true bliss IS working through challenges, is feeling deep fulfillment in that process. If any of you are feeling unworthy because you are thinking you "aren't good (perfect/healed/enlightened) enough" then this is an illusion!! We all need these challenges, you offer them to your twin flame, as a reflection!
Now this is not about playing games, not at all. This is not about playing hard to get on purpose to try and manipulate the situation or keep the other twin interested or chasing after you for "soul growth". This will backfire. Twin flames want real growth, and that means real achievement. Without any achievement on this journey (if someone is just playing games) then the soul cannot grow in that situation either and so there is no soul attraction in that situation.
Oh how I have run from those trying to pin me down into a traditional commitment. Nothing seems more scary TO MY SOUL than the idea of "settling down" in terms of the old traditional paradigms. That feels like a prison. We are often stigmatized by society for running away from a traditional relationship, for having a supposed "fear of commitment". But what we are truly fearing is stagnation, the slow death of the soul.
What I long to commit to, and what I do commit to, is a reunion where both twins are free to keep growing, to keep being their individual expression of their soul truth, not trying to mold themselves to fit into the "perfect partner" and feel obliged to do that because the other isn't loving them unconditionally. I want a reunion that is truly liberating, that happens naturally in it's own time, is not forced, or molded in any way, but is true. I long for a reunion which isn't a "finish line" but is a deeper exploration of soul growth.
What if I were to say that you are getting EXACTLY what you TRULY want and need for your soul RIGHT NOW from your twin flame connection...
If you were to look beyond the illusions we are taught to believe that we want about a "final commitment" or "reunion" or "finish line" can you see how those old paradigms that have been planted into your subconscious are actually holding you back? Can you see that all your pain is based upon not having something that in truth your soul doesn't even want??? When we think we are "missing out" because the old paradigms are not (cannot) play out, we tend to concentrate on the lack of having that and that is what creates our pain. Can you see your soul has exactly what it wants and needs right now and that is what is most important and that is what is most fulfilling? And then the continual growth of soul with lead you into a deeper reunion with your twin flame based upon truth. The illusions are blocking the real reunion, the beautiful reunion.
Now I want you to write down all the "ideas" or "expectations" you have been holding about what reunion would look like that are actually based on outdated paradigms. I want you to dig deeper and see how those expectations could actually hold back your soul. I am not against reunion at all only the limiting idea of what we expect reunion "should be".
In order to truly get to the bottom of the limiting blocks you are sending out to the universe and how to change your vibration in order to align with manifesting reunion with your twin flame look here at my eBook Twin Flame Reunion Manifestation.
The reason you have not united with your twin flame in that way is because you are not meant to unite in that way, and just as long as you are holding onto the old paradigm you cannot attract a true reunion beyond the illusions.
If you want to unite with your twin flame and achieve phenomenal soul growth but at the same time you are trying to pin that into traditional "ideals" (which aren't ideal at all) then you are sending out mixed signals to the universe which cannot manifest what your soul is truly desiring.
So instead of continually thinking "I am not getting this, I am not getting that" and believing you are lacking or something is missing, just realise that what is missing is the true realisation of what you soul wants and needs and that you are getting all of that right now. Then you can really eliminate your pain of feeling you are missing out on something or the universe is "not granting" you something.
Breathe in the blissful knowledge that you are already receiving exactly what you need right now! Feels good, feels liberating, feels healing!
As always, Love and Light to you!